Accidental Voyeurs, Queer As Folk Fanfiction
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Accidental Voyeurs
By: Jag1686
“Emmett, I really don’t feel right about this…” Michael started as he hesitantly pulled open the door to the unoccupied loft. “I mean, couldn’t this be considered breaking and entering? We could get arrested!”
Emmett simply rolled his eyes and pushed his way past Michael into the loft.
“Michael, sweetie, we already talked about this: It’s not breaking and entering if you have a key,” Emmett drawled as he made his way over to Brian’s stereo. Michael took one last look outside before closing and re-locking the door. “Besides,” Emmett continued, “we’re just here to get my CD. I lent it to Brian over a month ago. I said he could borrow it, not marry it.” At this Michael started snickering. When the snickering turned into a full-blown giggle attack, Emmett turned around slowly to stare at Michael, sure the man had gone insane. Michael’s laughter soon died down when he noticed Emmett’s questioning gaze. He cleared his throat.
“It was just funny, that’s all; Brian getting married,” Michael said by way of explanation. Emmett just sighed and returned to looking for his CD.
“Ah! Here it is! Now we can just mossy on out of here and Brian and Justin will never know…” But Emmett never got to finish his thought. You see, at that exact moment our Mission: Impossible boys heard the terrifying sound of the lift arriving at Brian’s floor, and the all too unmistakable sound of our favorite Liberty Avenue couple quarreling as they made their way towards their loft.
“Oh my, God; they’re home! Quick, into the bedroom!” Michael whispered frantically as he began pushing Emmett in the direction of the famous sex alter.
“Michael, I really don’t think that…” Emmett started, but was cut off by Michael’s sweaty palm pressed against his mouth.
“SHHHHH!” Michael scolded as he shut two of the panels to the bedroom. Emmett rolled his eyes and resigned himself to the floor.
Out in the living room, Brian and Justin were having a very interesting conversation.
“Brian, if you really think I’m going to do that, then you’re obviously more insane than I previously thought,” Justin said as he removed his coat and scarf. “Besides the fact that it’s fucking 20 degrees below zero outside, IT’S THE FUCKING ZOO!”
Emmett and Michael both looked at each other wide-eyed and mouthed, “The Zoo?”
Brian removed his own coat and placed a hand on his hip.
“So you’re telling me that you’re not even going to consider it?” Brian said seriously. Justin looked at the man like he’d grown three dicks.
“No, I’m not going to fucking consider it! Have you lost your mind?” Justin turned on his heal and went to the fridge for a bottle of water. Brian walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.
“Would you at least give me a chance to explain it again?” The older man asked. Justin gave him a warning glare before giving in.
“Fine, please regale me of your fabulous plan once again.” Brian grinned and pushed off the counter and moved to stand in front of Justin.
“Alright, so first, we go to the super market and get three gallons of honey…” Brian started excitedly.
Michael chose this exact moment to start babbling about nothing of any importance.
“You know,” he started, “I’ve always hated the zoo. See, this one time, Ma put me in these ridiculous yellow overalls and took me to see the monkeys…” Emmett clamped a swift hand over Michael’s mouth, silencing his uninvited chatter.
“Sweetie, I hate to rain on you parade, but you are disturbing my expert eavesdropping with your idiotically incessant rambling,” Emmett stated. Michael nodded his sorry and both men pressed their ears up against the glass.
“…and I’m sure with a little turpentine, they’ll be able to get all the honey out of the tigers’ fur,” Brian finished. Emmett’s jaw dropped open and he immediately popped Michael on the back of the head.
“Ow!” Michael whined. “You’ve been hanging around Ma too much.” Emmett shook his head and pressed his ear against the glass again.
“So, changed your mind yet?” Brian asked. Justin seemed to consider it for a moment before chugging back the rest of his water and giving Brian the finger and walking back towards the living room. “Should I take that as a maybe?”
“I think you should take that as a HELL NO. There’s no way you are seeing me naked anywhere near a hungry bear. Of any variety,” Justin said. Brian laughed and walked towards his lover, pulling the younger man flesh up against him.
“Just trying to spruce up our sex life a little,” Brian said into Justin’s neck before taking a little nip. Justin gafawed.
“You think our sex life needs sprucing up?” he asked.
“Well…” Brian started.
“Oh that’s it. Why don’t we just retire to the bedroom and I’ll prove to you that our sex life is just fine the way it is?” Justin purred as he started backing him and Brian towards the bedroom.
“Now how could I possibly pass up that challenge?” Brian said as he bent down and captured the younger man’s lips.
In the bedroom, Michael started having a panic attack. Seeing that Michael was hyperventilating and of no help, Emmett knew it was his job to find the next hiding place. He looked around frantically and then seized the first idea he could think of. He grabbed Michael’s arm and practically dragged him into the bathroom. He reached for the door only to find that there wasn’t one. ‘What the fuck kind of bathroom doesn’t have a door?’ he thought to himself. Thinking fast, he threw Michael into the shower before climbing in himself and closing the door, leaving it open just a crack. Thank goodness for them Brian had just had the new frosted glass put in.
In the bedroom our two lovers were in full force, clothes flying every which way. Emmett decided to take this as his opportunity to refine his peeping tom skills. Inching his way towards the crack he looked out at Brian and Justin. Michael, not wanting to be left out, pushed his way in between Emmett and the door until he felt he had a good enough view. The two stared in awe as Brian and Justin tumbled around gracefully on the bed.
“Oh my word,” Emmett whispered. “I had no idea Justin was so…flexible.” Michael simply nodded in agreement.
When the two lovers started yelling in ecstasy, it was simply too much for Michael to handle and he slipped, bringing Emmett down with him. As if the noise wasn’t enough, Michael started desperately clawing at the wall trying to find something to grab on to. Of course there was nothing to grab onto except the water controls and lo and behold, the shower turned on, soaking the men right down to their skin.
“What the fuck?” Brian breathed. Concern flashed over his face before he slipped his mask into place. He made a motion that told Justin to stay quiet and made his way towards the bathroom. When he got to the shower he threw open the door to find his two very unhappy and very wet friends. “What the fuck are you two doing in my shower?” Emmett smiled meekly and held up his, now ruined, CD.
“I just stopped by to take my CD back. I’m planning a party with a Dancing Queen theme and I can’t do that without my funky techno mix,” he explained lamely. Brian smirked and grabbed both Emmett and Michael by the arm.
“Well, I really hope you boys enjoyed the show. Unfortunately, you won’t be staying for an encore,” he said as he dragged the men out of the bathroom. Emmett looked at Justin who waved his good-byes.
“Justin, sweetie, call me: you absolutely MUST show me how to do some of those moves,” Emmett called as he was dragged down the steps.
“Sure thing Em,” Justin said as he continued to wave.
“Brian. BRIAN!” Michael whined. “Aren’t you forgetting that it’s freezing outside? We could die from hypothermia in like 30 seconds!” Brian threw the door to the loft open and tossed out his unwelcome visitors.
“Well, I guess you should’ve thought of that before you decided to take a swim in my shower,” he said. He started closing the door. “Have a lovely day.” With that Brian slammed the door the rest of the way shut.
Emmett and Michael stared at the door for 20 minutes before braving the cold. They never visited the loft uninvited again, and never arrived without a bathing suit and towel.
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